Friday, December 31, 2010

Day 9. Meet Mr. Olive Green.

The Real Estate industry is certainly not a career where you graduate college and say "I want to be a Real Estate Agent!”, the industry is comprised mostly of women who are empty nesters and need something to occupy their time; kids flew the coop, and it's time for Mama to get back to work. It's a very hard business, and to tell you the truth there is  not much I like about it.  It's sales, and if you know sales, you know that either your're a hustler or you're not. 
Enter Mr. Olive Green. Mr. Olive Green is 66, stylish, extremely intelligent, dates a 32 year old gal, acts way too young for his age, and is a character.  He tells dirty jokes as often as he can, he hits on almost everyone, has absolutely no filter, speaks French, Italian, Persian, Hebrew, and Spanish and calls me a "Ho'" about ten times a day. Some days I care, other days I don't. I do know that he's not your average Real Estate Agent, and is very close to a sexual harassment law suit if he messes with the wrong broad. Time will tell. This could get ulgy.
Oy.To.The.Vey.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Day Eight. It's a Give and Take, or Take, or TAKE


One of the agents asked me if I could help photoshop a graphic design for her son's Bat Mitzvah.  The designed would be printed on sweatshirts as a favor.  This is the kind of project that I often get asked to do, they are "off the record" but I don't mind especially if I can do it, it's fun and breaks-up-the-day.  However, with this project,  I couldn't help, we don't have photoshop and all the other crappy applications just couldn't do the job.  Yesterday, I was in a nice mood, I told the agent that I have a cousin who was a graphic artist, maybe he could help. I sent my cousin an email with the graphic, asking for some assistance and in two minutes I got a reply back, and the edits to the image. This is where it get's fun! Instead of thanking me, or my cousin, the agent asked for more edits.  I sent them to my cousin under the guise of "if you can't I understand, it's not problem, I realize you are busy", reply from cousin "I will see what I can do, I'll send this to you tomorrow". Today, I got into work, opened email and bam image is there from my cousin with the requested edits. I sent redesign to the agent, and a email came firing back with more edits, more wants, and not one thank you.  I couldn't believe the gall, and the entitlement.  Perhaps I was wrong and should of just left it alone, that I couldn't help nor that I knew anyone that could.  I have to say I do understand that free is free, and free is for me, and that you want what you want, especially for a huge celebration in one's life but to keep asking without a thank you in sight, is just not how I was raised. Lesson learned - do not offer up any services beyond your control.

Oy. To. The.Vey.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day Seven. Disgruntled Desk Jockey....Who Me?

After reading over my posts for the last several days, one would say that I am miserable disgruntled person, and it's true, I am. But only at work. This place for some reason brings out the ANGRY in me. It's not that the work is challenging - because it's not, a monkey can do my job, or my three year old or that I am working 90 hours a week, or that the people are evil: some definitly do not have manners, some are entitled, some of them don't have an elevator that goes to the top, some expect me to run as fast as I can when they call, and some, well, are actually lovely. My main gripe is that there is not one process or procedure in this place, each thing I do I recreate the wheel, no one shares information, and there is not one bit of operational management AT ALL. It's a small company, but it generates as least 20M in revenue, we can afford to put some systems in place.  I can't tell you how much this annoys me. I'm a Virgo. I like order. I like organization. I LOVE systems.  There is not ONE system in place, and if I try to put one in place I am told it's too expensive, and everyone is resistant. I mean, I hate change too, but c'mon, people, let's get some order in the world.
Oy.To.The.Vey. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day Six. Pole Dancing & Real Estate - A GREAT Combo!

Mr. Black I am told is a marketing genius, yes a genius.  Imagine I’m working for a marketing genius! Amazing, not sure how I got so lucky but nevertheless, I was told today that his ideas are like none other in the Real Estate industry – that he is a trail blazer, a leader, a luxury real estate marketing guru. My interested got peaked, I asked this source to elaborate, I got nothing, all I was told that he throws elaborate parties,  is able to barter services (not quite sure how you barter Real Estate services, that is still being determined) as if we lived in the 1800’s and his marketing tactics are like, really superior. Superior? Really?  I hate to be so jaded, but like the rest of population that went back to work at dead-end jobs to get a little cash, to be close to home so they won’t have as much guilt raising their children, while striving to become a published writer I am skeptical.   I actually worked for a marketing genius in a product development department of world-renown Fortune 500 Company, and let me tell you something Mr. Black doesn’t strike me as a marketing genius; he’s smart, he’s absolutely a very smart man who knows the business but the verdict is still out on the genius part. As much as I love to be right, I also don’t mind being wrong, so if I am indeed wrong and this man is actually a marketing genius than good for him.
Nevertheless, this conversation came up because Mr. Black is hosting a Broker Open House- as a cocktail party, definitely a different approach because Broker Open Houses are generally during the day and during the week, they are usually a “preview” of the home for all the Brokers in the area or that may have clients interested in the particular property – this is usually done before the home is open to the public. This Cocktail Party Broker Open House is for a $2.6 M mansion and will showcase the most significant part of home – the disco - the homeowner cut a hole in the middle of the living room and put in a full disco in the basement, the hole is so you can see the disco from the upper level, to view the the “Ultimate Bachelor Pad” – “Entertainers Delight”.  The disco has a bar, a stripper pole (but of course), two bathrooms, a wine cellar, a chandelier that is remote, and acts as a cage so you can have dancing girls dropped from the ceiling. Cool idea? Perhaps, but what happens now when you want to sell that $2.6 M disco in the middle of waspy uber class suburban neighborhood? Ummm… if you’re  Mr. Black you stage a Cocktail party for all the Brokers in the luxury market and you put girls on the strippers poles, and half naked hoochie mama’s dropping from a chandelier cage. And this is called genius.  I’d say it’s a bit tackier than genius? What do you think?  
Oy. To. The.Vey.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day Five. Blue vs. White

Today Mrs. Violet and some of the other agents were discussing the local neighborhoods – because one of their clients was looking to move. Someone suggested my neighborhood - the schools are well regarded and the area is very nice, before I could even chime in, give my two cents Mrs. Violet shoots back faster than Michael Phelps “That’s blue-collar”. UMMM. Know your fricking audience, whether it’s blue collar or not…have some respect!!! HELLO!!!!
Oy. To.The.Vey.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day Four. Really? REALLY?

I have worked for Fortune 500 Companies, Prestigious Manhattan Law Firms, Corporate Giants, and some real challenging managers and supervisor but my talents and patience’s have really been put to the test. Holy Shit, what did I get myself into?  
Today, an agent, let’s call her Mrs. Violet asked me what my husband does for a living, I proudly told her that he was a Lieutenant in the Fire Department -  her response – which was in a very patronizing tone  “Ah, ya see, us Jews we become Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, we should do those jobs, at least you get pensions”.  I guess there are no Christian Lawyers, Doctors or Dentists?
Oy. To.The.Vey

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Day Three. Grammar Does Not Rule.

My Main Concerns With My New Job Were  1) Where Is The Bathroom? 2) Who Do I Eat Lunch With And/Or Can I Exercise At Lunch? Well, My Friends These Are No Longer Concerns Because The Bathroom Is Two Feet Away- (If I Have To Do A Number 2, It’s Before Work or After) And We Don’t Get A Lunch. It’s Eat At Your Desk Type Of Job. Yeah Nice! Crumbs All Over The Keyboard! Fantastic!

Today I Answered The Phones; I Made Coffee, Made Lots Of Coffee. I was Interrogated About "My Background", If "I Knew Computers”, I Answered The Phones Some More.  I Supported “Mr. Black” - His Crazy Demands (Screaming From His Office “Get In HERE, GET IN HERE, I CAN’T PRINT!!!” Nice Right?) And  Basically Wiped The Assess Of Over 30 Overbearing And Demanding Women, Oh And Don't Forget I Answered More Phones!
  
Why Am I Capitalizing All My Words? Because I Was “Told” That’s "How We Do It In Real Estate". Excuse Me Moi? I Guess The Basic Grammar Rules Aren't Followed In "Real Estate" Either. Duh.

Oy To The Vey!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day Two.

“Mr. Black”,  the owner of the firm – is a cross between working for a mad genius, like say Michael Scott from The Office mixed with Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld with a dash of Tim Gunn thrown in to make sure you don’t burn the roof of your mouth.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Day One.

I made coffee, lots of coffee, answered the phones that insanely rang off the hook all day long. Oh and I met a lot of women.   A LOT OF WOMEN.
This is job is like nothing I’ve ever done before, like nothing I have E.V.E.R experienced before– and it’s not because the job is beneath me, there is nothing I won’t do (okay maybe a few things) but with this job it’s the people that make it bizarro world. I worked with lawyers and even these people, these Real Estate Agents, ummmm, Sharks, they’re something else.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Work. UGH.

Yes I went to work. After a year and half of unemployment it was about time I went back to work, or at least that’s what my husband said. What the hell does he know?  I liked being home with the kids; yes I do/did, well most of the time anyway. It was fun; especially having the summer off - Beach, pool, lunch dates with my friends – I really didn’t think I needed a job until my husband said we couldn’t take a bloody vacation. That’s when the light bulb went off, and I realized I need a frick’in job cause I certainly need a frick’in vacation.
So I went out and interviewed and interviewed and interviewed, and gave up a career track position for a job that is 10 minutes from my children, a job that is going to be flexible, and work with a “working mom”, a job I wouldn’t take home with me, one that would allow me to pursue my real dream of becoming a columnist, a writer, a published writer.  So what is this gem of a job?  Well, I’m an Office Administrator for a High End Luxury Real Estate firm in a wealthy suburban town. Who’s a lucky girl? No seriously, who’s a lucky girl? Cause that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know you’re making the wrong decision it decided to fuck me over the day I interviewed.